Counselling involves exploring how ingredients like these mix together in the bubbling, ever-changing, holistic casserole of our mind:
Awareness. Our ability to witness and be present.
Relatedness. The who and what we’re connecting with.
Cognitions. Thoughts, memories, expectations, images and beliefs.
Feelings. Our emotions and the needs that drive them.
Body process. Sensations, posture, breathing, movement and touch.
Actions. The words we speak and the things we do.
'Until you make the
it will direct your life
and you will call it fate.'
There’s a lot going on here and it all links and moves. For example, if you recall a happy time with someone you get/got on with well, what starts to happen if you allow yourself to settle into that memory? The above threads probably start to weave a rich, familiar pattern you associate with that person. Now bring to mind a slightly painful experience with someone else where there was more distress and conflict in your relationship. You'll probably find yourself looking at a very different tapestry. Now become aware of your breathing for a while. Connect as best you can with your breath and notice what happens. Try a breathing space if you want to bring more awareness to this practice. This may bring another tapestry / casserole to the fore.
Dr Gabor Maté is a great spokesperson for the value of counselling and other healing traditions that help us explore and break free from the deeply engrained protective habits, including addictions, that we can all use to manage psychological pain. This video introduces some important therapeutic ideas you might find helpful.